119 Pandemonium

Chu Xiaoyu laughed, "That is not called a 'lazy donkey rolling,' but rather our Young Master Qu’s 'playboy roll.' He rarely uses it unless he has set his sights on a young lady and wants to get intimate. Little girl, you are truly lucky to see it."

Xiao Yun asked in surprise, "You have to roll on the ground to get intimate? That sounds impossible!"

Chu Xiaoyu chuckled, "How is it impossible? You see how dogs and cats, upon seeing their masters or close companions, roll on the ground in excitement to show their affection?"

Qu Buping was about to get angry at this remark, but he saw Feihong’s face turn crimson. She cursed, "Go to hell, you scoundrel!" As she spoke, she thrust her sword at Xiaoyu.

This strike was spontaneous and easier to handle than the previous two she had aimed at Qu Buping, yet Xiaoyu still dodged it quite clumsily. The moment he evaded it, Long Feihong, determined to embarrass him, showed no mercy and immediately followed up with a second strike.

Out of options, and recalling Qu Buping’s "lazy donkey roll," Xiaoyu acted on impulse and used a move he called "chicken flying and dog jumping." Strictly speaking, this was not a martial arts technique, but rather a chaotic mix of wrestling, hugging, lunging, and grabbing common in street brawls.

Seeing Xiaoyu lunging at her with wild, flailing limbs, Feihong realized that while she could easily wound him with any standard technique, doing so would mean his hands would inevitably touch her chest. Reluctantly, she withdrew her sword and leaned back slightly.

Xiaoyu was secretly congratulating himself for scaring her off with such a bizarre move when Feihong tripped him with her foot. He fell face-first into the dirt. Qu Buping, who was supposed to be angry, couldn't help but laugh at his pathetic state. "Young Master Chu, congratulations."

Seeing that Qu Buping was just as disheveled, Xiaoyu laughed back, "Brother Qu, we are in the same boat."

Seeing them both in such a sorry state yet still laughing, Long Feihong scolded, "What are you laughing at? You’re so happy, are you? Do you want me to make you 'chicken-fly-and-dog-jump' some more?"

Xiao Yun added, "My two brothers are like a tortoise laughing at a turtle—we're all the same." Han Xing and Feiyu burst into giggles upon hearing this.

Qu Buping said indignantly, "Brother Yun, that’s not fair. We are fighting with all our might, and you’re mocking us. That is truly unreasonable; you’re going to be the death of me!"

Xiao Yun laughed, "My two brothers, you are both too clumsy. You couldn't even dodge with a bit of grace, and you let a young girl force you into using 'chicken-flying' and 'donkey-rolling' moves."

Qu Buping retorted with a laugh, "What of it? I think the most graceful move in the world is Young Master Yun’s 'mouse crawling under the bed'."

Xiao Yun waved it off dismissively, "That was the past! I will never use that move again. I am a real man, and I keep my word. I have that much self-confidence at least."

Chu Xiaoyu grinned, "You don't expect me to believe that if your wife beats you in the future, you won't crawl under the bed again? I heard that is the move you consider most effective against a fearsome wife."

Qu Buping grew excited, "Good brother, have you figured out a better way to handle a wife? Tell me quickly, so that if I encounter a fierce one in the future, I’ll be prepared."

Xiao Yun sighed dejectedly, "Alas! You are my good brothers, so I’ll tell you the truth: my wife has already had someone nail boards under our bed. Even if I broke my skull, I couldn't hide under there anymore." Everyone erupted into laughter.

Han Xing recalled how funny Xiao Yun looked under the bed last time and teased, "Oh, dear brother-in-law, so you are in such a miserable state?"

Xiao Yun exaggerated, "If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have left! That’s why I’m begging you, Sister Xing’er, Sister Feiyu, please don't take me back."

Qu Buping sympathized, "Brother Yun, you are too pitiful! To be beaten by your wife until you don't even have a bed to hide under—no wonder you left her. But then again, you are quite spineless. If it were me, I’m confident that the one crawling under the bed would be her, never me."

Feihong scoffed, "Stop bragging. You’re just as pathetic—weren't you just beaten into a 'chicken-flying' mess by me?"

Qu Buping blushed and argued, "That’s because you aren't my wife! A gentleman doesn't fight with a shrew; I was going easy on you. If you were my wife, you’d know how formidable I am. I’d have you completely tamed. If you don't believe me, try it sometime!"

Feihong flushed, and Feiyu interrupted, "Pah! A scoundrel like you? You’re just a toad lusting after swan meat."

Xiaoyu laughed, "Brother Qu, isn't that a bit embarrassing? How can you tell her that you’d use your full strength on your wife but go soft on other women? It seems no woman will want to be your wife now."

Feihong said spitefully, "You two scoundrels, I must teach you a lesson today so you stop spouting such nonsense."

Xiaoyu shouted, "Stop! You promised that if we took three moves, you’d let us go. The three moves have passed, so we aren't going to tangle with you any longer. We’re leaving. Excuse us."

Feihong wanted to stop them, but Han Xing said, "Let them go."

Qu Buping laughed, "That’s the way! One must always keep their word. Little girl, farewell. If you miss me, you can find me in the pugilistic world. I believe I will soon be famous, so don't come begging me to marry you then!"

Feihong was furious, "Don't get cocky, scoundrel! You escaped today, but remember this: don't let me run into you again, or I’ll make you crawl away!"

Chu Xiaoyu said calmly, "We'll deal with future matters when they come. At worst, we'll just run away again."

Qu Buping added, "Don't brag, little girl. Who knows what the future holds? Perhaps next time, it won't be us acknowledging your strength, but you remembering mine forever!"

Xiao Yun chimed in, "Yes, exactly! Sister Xing’er, when you go back and see my future wife, tell her that fortunes turn, and she should pull those boards out from under the bed. I, Xiao Yun, can be strong too—I will never hide under the bed again!" With that, the three of them laughed and walked away.

Han Xing said with a smile, "I’ll give you a piece of advice: even the heavens nod off sometimes. You won't always be this lucky. I suggest you stay out of trouble and study your arts diligently. Also, be sure to take good care of Xiao Yun. If anything happens to him, you two will surely be in trouble."

Qu and Chu laughed, "Understood, thank you." And with that, they laughed and went on their way.