Chapter 49 My Steps Toward My Dream Remain Steadfast and Unwavering

Inside the house, the atmosphere was heavy with tension.

His mother’s face was ashen with disappointment—a kind she had perhaps never felt so deeply for her son before.

“Mom, please listen to me…” Wang Qiang tried to explain.

But his mother cut him off sharply, her anger flaring. “I don’t want to hear it!” She threw the sole of a shoe into the basket with a forceful gesture, her words biting. “Your father works on the construction site, denying himself decent food or comfort, saving every penny—why, tell me, why does he do it?”

Wang Qiang fell silent, unable to find an answer.

Her voice trembled with emotion. “Earlier this year, he had a raging fever—forty degrees—but he kept carrying sacks of cement. All because he wants you to have a good future. If you don’t go to school, where will your future come from?”

“I…” Wang Qiang tried to speak.

But his mother interrupted again, shaking with anger. “If you won’t think of yourself, at least think of your father! He hopes so much you’ll get into a good university. All my life, all I’ve known is that your father wants to make something of you. And now you want to let him down? To bring him shame?”

Her words struck a raw nerve. Tears slid from her eyes, falling onto the cloth bundle in the basket, soaking the dark blue fabric.

Wang Qiang, ever filial, felt a sharp pang at the sight of his mother’s tears. Panicked, he crouched beside her, reaching to wipe her face, pleading anxiously, “Mom, don’t cry, please don’t cry. Just listen to me…”

“I won’t listen!” She flung his hand away, stood up, and left the room sobbing, slamming the door behind her with a loud bang.

Still crouching on the earthen floor, Wang Qiang pounded his head in frustration. Why had he upset his mother? She wanted him to go to school—he should just do as she wished and spare her this pain.

In that moment, his resolve wavered.

Wasn’t the whole point of this second chance at life to bring happiness to his parents?

Inside the room, his mother’s wailing rose, grief-stricken and raw. Wang Qiang buried his hands in his hair, tugging hard, wishing he could slap himself. This was the second time he’d seen his mother cry since his return. The first time had been the night his parents fought; now, he had driven the one who loved him most to tears. Guilt spread through him, deep and suffocating.

In silence, his own eyes brimmed. Tears gathered and finally dropped onto the packed earth floor.

His mother never spoke of her own sacrifices, always highlighting what his father had done. But Wang Qiang knew—he knew all too well how much she had given; words could never do justice to it all.

That night she fought with his father—it was over tuition. The family was poor; creditors on one side, a son about to start school needing a sum as hefty as fifteen hundred yuan on the other. His parents had been driven to desperation, their tempers flaring, violence erupting. All because of him.

Tears streamed down Wang Qiang’s face. He sniffed, knowing that scenes like this would repeat. When his grandfather’s diabetes worsened, his parents would empty their savings and sink into debt, their arguments over money turning to physical fights.

Was this truly what he wanted to witness?

While he sat in a classroom breathing in the scent of gardenias, his parents would be tearing each other apart over money, his father approaching old age still laboring on construction sites, his mother’s hair turning silver as she gazed wearily over the rice fields.

No.

This was not what he wanted to see.

Wang Qiang clenched his fists so tight that his nails dug painfully into his flesh—a reminder that he had the power to change this nightmare he foresaw.

He couldn’t bear to see his mother grieve, nor could he stand the thought of his parents at each other’s throats over money. He didn’t want to watch his father toil on construction sites into his sixties, nor see his mother, stooped and gray, anxiously awaiting the harvest. He had lived through this agony once before—he could not, would not, let it happen again.

Better a short pain than a long one.

At this moment, Wang Qiang hardened his heart.

He had considered earning money while studying, but his high school was full-time—early mornings at five-thirty for reading, night classes until nine-thirty, only one day off a month. In such circumstances, how could he earn enough to change his family’s fortune? How could he ease his parents’ burdens?

A line from Nuan Yu’s “Life” flashed through his mind: If you are always worrying about money, about mortgages and car loans, you will never find peace.

In his previous life, his parents were like silkworms, spinning until their very last breath.

This time, he would be a candle—burning himself to light the second half of his parents’ lives, even if it turned him to ash… he would have no regrets.

Having made up his mind, he slowly straightened his numb legs—he didn’t know how long he’d been crouched there. As he stood, he nearly stumbled, steadying himself on a small stool, then made his way toward his room.

He had decided: he would take a risk.

Wang Qiang already knew what he needed to do next.

…

In the bedroom, Wang Qiang found a burlap sack and pulled out two changes of clothes from the wardrobe. There is a saying: while your mother is alive, you don’t travel far. But this time, he would go far for his parents’ sake—the far south, where a small ember of hope awaited to be kindled into a blazing fire.

Suddenly the door creaked, and footsteps sounded outside.

Immediately, his mother’s voice came from the doorway. “Qiangzi.”

Wang Qiang, who had just packed his clothes, turned to see his mother’s eyes swollen from crying. His heart twisted with pain, but he forced a smile. “Mom, you’re not mad at me anymore?”

She came in, took his hand, and sat with him on the bed. “Tell me, why don’t you want to go to school anymore?”

Wang Qiang was surprised by her change in attitude, but quickly understood—she must be afraid that he’d do something reckless in his adolescence, so she had come to talk him round. Since she was giving him a chance to speak, he wasn’t going to waste it. Gathering his thoughts, he spoke softly, “I want to earn money.”

Her voice was gentle. “You’re still young, leave earning money to your father and me.”

“I know. But I can’t stand watching you both work so hard.” All the arguments he’d prepared evaporated. From the bottom of his heart, he said, “You and Dad have suffered so much for me. You said it yourself—Dad kept working with a forty-degree fever. If our family were better off, he wouldn’t have to go through that. I…” He stopped, words catching in his throat.

His mother began to sob, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “But… but if you don’t go to school… what will become of you?”

Seeing her cry, Wang Qiang couldn’t help shedding tears himself; he didn’t even know why—he just couldn’t bear to see her cry. “Mom… I… I could… apply to study at home… I promise, even self-studying, I can get into university.”

Her sobs grew louder. “Without a teacher… how will you pass?”

“I can, I really can!” Wang Qiang insisted, wiping his tears from his wrist. He laid everything out, “Don’t worry about the school. Mayor Zhang owes me a favor, and he’s on good terms with the principal of Siyi Town. If he puts in a word, the school will agree. I promise, I’ll take the end-of-term exams every semester. If my grades aren’t good, I’ll go back to school without argument.”

Tears still on her face, his mother looked at him. “If you don’t go to school, what will you do?”

Back to the original question.

Wang Qiang had thought this through. He didn’t know what his mother was thinking now, but he gritted his teeth and made a fierce vow. “I’ll find a way to make money.”

But his mother wasn’t willing to give up. “Sell fish? I can do that myself…”

Wang Qiang interrupted her for the first time, his voice resolute. “No, I want to make real money—the kind that will let you and Dad live a comfortable life for the rest of your days.”

Still, she couldn’t let go. “Qiangzi, please, just…”

He interrupted her again. “If I can make ten thousand yuan before school starts, will you agree to let me not go back?”

At these words, his mother looked at him in astonishment.

“Mom, even if I get into a top university, isn’t it all just for the sake of earning money for the family?” Wang Qiang reasoned gently. “Now, I promise you: every semester, my grades won’t lag behind; at the same time, I’ll earn money on the outside. Isn’t that the best of both worlds?”

His mother fell silent, clearly deep in thought.

With her quiet, Wang Qiang also fell still. This was a decision he had reached after careful consideration; nothing could shake it now.

One minute.

Two minutes.

After a long time, his mother sighed deeply. “What if you don’t make ten thousand before school starts?”

There was hope. Wang Qiang hurriedly said, “I’ll go back to school, just as I said.”

She nodded. “You have fifteen days. I’ll let you try. If you don’t make ten thousand in half a month, you’ll go back to school without protest.”

Ten thousand in fifteen days?

To her, that was simply impossible. Seeing her son’s determination, Cheng Lin, as a mother, thought to herself: better to guide than to block.

She decided to feign agreement. There was no way he could make that kind of money before school started; he’d have no choice but to return.

Right now, selling fish brought in a hundred or so a day—already a miracle in her eyes. To make ten thousand in fifteen days meant earning at least seven hundred a day. Unless he robbed a bank, what job could bring in that kind of money?

Perhaps this was a mother’s little bit of cunning, all for the sake of her son.

But Wang Qiang answered with utmost seriousness, “All right!”

It would indeed be difficult to earn ten thousand yuan in half a month, especially in 1994, but Wang Qiang had many cards up his sleeve—it was not impossible.

Now that his mother had agreed to give him a chance, he would not let it slip by. A man’s word is his bond—if he said he would make ten thousand in half a month, he would do it.

Wang Guozhen once wrote: When laughter turns to silence, when confidence turns to despair, can I still walk steadfastly toward my dream?

At this moment, Wang Qiang told himself with unwavering determination: Yes, I can still walk toward my dream with the same steadfast resolve.