Chapter 32: Stirring Emotions

“You have never cared about my reputation.”

Yan Jing said nothing. The brilliant scholar Yan, who could make light of anything with his silver tongue, had apparently found himself at a loss for words.

After a long silence, Huai Xi finally heard him sigh.

“Xi’er, I deserve to die.”

“Because I am frivolous in all I do, fond of jesting, flighty and wild, always speaking without thinking. Your elder brother warned me for years that I would pay the price.” Seated in the chair, he took Huai Xi’s hand and told her earnestly, “I thought I could bear any price. I never imagined that, in the end, it would fall upon you.”

Because of circumstances beyond his control, she and he had been severed from one another, while every eminent family in the capital mocked her as a toppled tower, a torn piece of brocade, left alone to endure their pity.

She was a gentlemanly sort of person. Even at her most wretched, she would lift her chin proudly and attend the capital’s banquets, facing the mocking gazes of the young ladies and the whispers of the noblewomen. She pretended not to notice, concealed everything, and revealed not the slightest trace of affection, displaying all the grace expected of a noble daughter.

It seemed she had deceived everyone.

But she could not deceive him.

How clever he was. He knew that she was troubled in her heart. Of course, he also knew that she still loved him.

“Xi’er, if there were anything that could suffer this torment in your place, I—”

“Yan Jing.”

Huai Xi interrupted him and pulled her hand from his grasp.

“I am not that magnanimous. I am an ordinary person too. Anyone would be furious after encountering something like this. Do not imagine me to be so pure and noble. As for your wound—”

She spoke as she moved toward the door of the little hill pavilion.

“I’ll take it off!”

Yan Jing panicked. He rose and caught her, his fingertip gently brushing the corner of her eye to wipe away the tear that trembled there.

In a voice tender beyond measure, he said, “If you do not wish to hear it, I will never mention it again. Xi’er, take a look at me. I truly did fall.”

Huai Xi said nothing. She merely turned back, helped him sit in the chair again, and gently loosened the clasp at his collar.

“What were you in such a hurry to ride for?”

Yan Jing obediently let her tend to him, his captivating, laughing eyes gazing at her with a half-smile.

Huai Xi suddenly met his eyes. In their locked gazes, starlight seemed to flicker secretly, and she hastily lowered her own.

Yan Jing reached out. Just as his hand was about to cover hers, Huai Xi shot him a fierce look.

With a crisp smack, she slapped away his hovering hand and enunciated every word:

“Put those wolf’s paws back where they came from!”

Yan Jing withdrew his hand and said nonchalantly, “What a coincidence. I was just about to say that my shoulder no longer hurts, so you needn’t undo the clasp after all.”

Huai Xi burst out laughing.

“So you do have moments when you feel shy?”

Yan Jing seized her wrist and pulled her onto his lap. His arm encircled her waist as he murmured beside her ear, “The clasp need not be undone. The belt at my waist does.”

Huai Xi lowered her head, her face blooming red as the sunset. She pounded his shoulder repeatedly and struggled to rise, but Yan Jing had no intention of letting her go. He caught her wrist from behind, spread his fingers, and slowly threaded them through hers until their hands were tightly joined.

“That is what you get for saying I was shy.”

Her face flushed crimson. Though she had read ten thousand volumes, she truly could not bear to leave the warmth of his embrace just then.

Their interlocked fingers rubbed gently against each other. Yan Jing’s fingertips lightly scratched the smooth back of her hand, sending little sparks of heat and tingling through her. A hazy sheen gathered in both their eyes as they gazed at one another, like spring sunlight spilling across the water while a breeze parted the willow branches along the bank—tender, lingering, and beautiful.

“A-Jing, what are you looking at?” Huai Xi asked after he had stared at her for a long while without speaking. She blinked at him.

“I am looking at myself reflected in your eyes.”

Huai Xi turned her head and looked up at the moonlight outside the window, her face burning red.

“I will not let you look.”

Yan Jing leaned toward her profile and kissed his way slowly along her temple. His lips brushed her mouth, her chin, and her cheek again and again. Warm lips skimmed over her trembling lashes before drifting to her ear, his voice husky and full of temptation.

“There is no part of you I have not seen.”

“You…”

She had only just begun to speak when he supported the back of her head and pulled her fiercely into his arms. Every word left unspoken was swallowed by their heated kiss.

When the kiss finally ended, one of Yan Jing’s arms still held her waist, while his other hand clasped hers against his chest as he tried to calm his disordered, hurried heartbeat.

After a long while, he released her hand.

“Xi’er, were you going to the rear courtyard just now? It is dark along the way. I will escort you there.”

“That would be fine.”

She touched her hair and smoothed her skirt. When she looked up, she saw Yan Jing standing by the entrance of the little hill pavilion, awkwardly twisting at the first clasp of his robe. At the sight of her, he smiled, and his gaze suddenly turned brilliantly alight.

Her heart began to pound. It was as though something surged toward her from every direction.

They gazed at each other for a moment. Without saying a word, Yan Jing strode inside and shut the door. Then he swept her up by the waist and set her on the table within the pavilion.

Huai Xi wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned forward to kiss him. He had no choice but to kiss her while undoing the fastenings of his own robe.

He gripped her waist, as though possessed.

“Have you missed me, Xi’er?”

“No…”

“Are you doing this of your own free will?”

“No…”

She bit her lip, yet an involuntary moan still escaped her.

The shadows of the two figures appeared upon the windows of the little hill pavilion. Outside, all was silent. Within, their mingled breathing stirred each other’s hearts.

The restless desire that had grown in the darkness, the unspoken fervor within their bodies, now burst through the earth like fresh grass and spread with vigorous, frantic abandon, burning reason to ashes.

—

The first and fifteenth days of the lunar month were the proper occasions for burning incense and worshiping the Buddha.

On those days, not only the wives and daughters of the capital’s noble families but even ordinary people would arrange to visit South Mountain Temple to offer incense and pray for blessings.

The Winding Stream Floating Cups Banquet was also held on the fifteenth.

Xiao Ming and the others had racked their brains without finding a way to attend the banquet. Just as they were growing dispirited and frustrated, a turn of fortune quietly arrived.

South Mountain Temple was to receive an honored guest that day—the late emperor’s consort, Grand Dowager Consort Shu.

Having heard early that Grand Dowager Consort Shu would be visiting, the abbot ordered the young monks to secure the temple. Only the family members of officials in the capital were permitted to enter; ordinary people could do nothing but remain outside.

“When Grand Dowager Consort Shu arrives, all of you girls must stay alert. Do not let any of the palace matrons find fault with you.”

Lady Ling summoned all the young ladies who would be accompanying her to the front courtyard and instructed them one by one.

“Ning’er, you must be especially proper today. If you catch the Grand Dowager Consort’s eye and she acknowledges you as her god-granddaughter, every noble young man in the capital will be falling over himself to marry you.”

Huai Ning merely curled her lips in disdain.

“Elder Sister Huai Xi, is Grand Dowager Consort Shu truly that formidable?” Xiao Ming asked softly, covering her mouth.

Huai Xi nodded gravely.

“I heard Grandmother say that Grand Dowager Consort Shu was beautiful and lively by nature. She was greatly favored by the late emperor in her youth. Unfortunately, although she bore him a prince, the child died young.”

Huai Xi leaned closer and continued in a lowered voice, “Even the reigning emperor was raised under Grand Dowager Consort Shu’s care for several years.”

As they spoke, a commotion arose outside the temple.

Grand Dowager Consort Shu had arrived.