Chapter 51 To Hell with the Dementor Patronus
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To thoroughly study the Patronus, Cohen even went to the library to borrow a few books. Returning to the House of Requests, he nestled by the warm fireplace and began a new round of spell research. Practical experience was far more engaging than those theoretical courses—no wonder Harry and Ron had no interest in studying.
The Count was relieved Cohen didn’t release Ally from his pocket again.
“Phew… can we just leave her with Hagrid from now on?”
“If the centaurs in the forest don’t bother her,” Cohen replied, unconvinced by the suggestion. The centaurs wouldn’t tolerate any extremely violent or evil creatures wandering in the woods—especially not Ally, who looked nothing like a “normal unicorn.”
Cohen wasn’t worried about Ally’s safety; rather, he didn’t want to slaughter the centaurs—who knew what havoc Ally’s curse might wreak if fully unleashed in the Forbidden Forest? His guilt would skyrocket, and Dumbledore’s anger would intensify.
Besides, if Ally stayed there, Cohen wouldn’t be able to sneak into the forest for a feast. The Forbidden Forest held the souls of other creatures to consume, like werewolves.
“It’s not safe for her here!” The Count, failing with subtle hints, bluntly told Cohen, “She wants to kill me!”
“That’s because you talk too much. What could she possibly want with you? To stab your wings? Rip your mouth apart?”
“I feel like she wants to tear out my prostate,” the Count speculated reasonably. “The direction she’s aiming at…”
“If you say another word about your prostate being torn, I’ll be the one to do it,” Cohen warned him with a dangerous glare.
After shooing the squirrels away with chirping sounds and sending them back to their own nests, Cohen began studying the books.
Miranda Gorshak’s *Analysis of Ancient Spells* contained detailed information about the Patronus Charm. Compared to Cohen’s *Compendium of Positive Magic*, this book offered more “historical records” and “origin research.”
The Patronus Charm was the most famous and one of the strongest defensive spells known to wizards.
It was an extremely complex and difficult incantation that could summon a semi-corporeal positive force—the Patronus.
It could repel Dementors and Blast-Ended Skrewts, creatures with no other means of defense.
Cohen had personally experienced how this spell could make his head spin—though it wouldn’t actually kill anyone—well, not exactly—but the consequences could be bizarre.
The book also concluded, based on historical evidence, that only those with pure hearts could summon a Patronus. There was a famous example in the magical world: the dark wizard Lachtidion experienced a backlash when attempting the Patronus Charm, and the maggots that emerged devoured him.
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Most dark wizards either met the same fate as Lachtidion or failed to produce any effect with the charm, as if firing blanks.
Cohen somewhat disagreed with the book’s theory that “people with negative personality traits cannot summon a Patronus”—after all, Umbridge could conjure a cat-shaped Patronus, and she hardly qualified as free of negative traits.
So, the rule shouldn’t be understood so rigidly; rather, it meant that those who relied on extremely negative emotions to cast dark magic for years couldn’t generate pure, joyful memories. Their happiness was built on pain, bullying, and slaughter.
Cohen felt none of those three words applied to him—when he killed humans or animals, it was a release for them. Whether consuming souls or casting the Avada Kedavra curse, there was no suffering at all. Wasn’t that kinder than plucking feathers to make barbecue?
Still, this made Cohen realize his mistake in choosing memories. Perhaps he shouldn’t have selected the memory of Edward being bullied by Rose—or the one where he snatched candy from a neighbor’s child.
They might have been happy moments, but not pure enough.
“Expecto Patronum!”
Cohen adjusted his memory selection—choosing, for example, the moment he promised Herbert he would stay, the emotions he felt from Herbert, and the feelings Rose and Edward showed when bidding him farewell.
A denser white mist seeped from the tip of Cohen’s wand. It seemed about to form a massive creature—but there was resistance. This time Cohen sensed the source: resistance within his own soul.
If he were to describe it, it felt like having just taken a huge dump and being forced to touch it—the brain urged the hand, but the hand resisted desperately.
Cohen’s body was casting the spell, but his soul resisted, unwilling to fully release the happy memories.
He was caught between wanting to summon the Patronus and not wanting to do so.
“I’m going to call this phenomenon Cohen’s Law.”
Cohen gave up on the attempt; no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t fully materialize the Patronus.
“Damn it, a Dementor is learning the Patronus Charm? Why would I have such a dream…” The Count sat stiffly like an owl statue in his nest, staring straight at Cohen.
The scariest part was Cohen had actually released a non-corporeal Patronus—perhaps…
At the moment the Count spoke, Cohen’s gaze locked onto him. If his own soul instinctively resisted releasing positive emotions… could he use someone else’s?
Cohen could absorb it!
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“What are you doing!”
The Count trembled unconsciously at the wild excitement in Cohen’s eyes. Usually, when Cohen looked like that, it meant he was either about to have all his feathers plucked or be forced to do something absurd—like “dropping bird droppings on students’ heads.”
“You, cast a Patronus,” Cohen rubbed his hands together eagerly.
“Are you crazy?” The Count asked, bewildered. “I can’t guarantee I won’t bash you with it—you do realize your level of damnation in my heart is on par with that pervert who stole Grindelwald’s underwear…”
“That was your idea to steal Grindelwald’s underwear first. I was outside listening,” Cohen said in a deadpan voice. “If Dumbledore knew you said that, he’d pluck every last feather from you. Stop rambling and hurry up.”
“Alright, alright…”
The Count reluctantly agreed, flapping his wings and flying onto the table, grabbing his wand with his claw.
“Expecto—”
At the instant the Count’s happy emotions surged, Cohen acted—
Slurp~
This time Cohen didn’t swallow the sweet emotion directly; instead, he immediately used it to cast…
“Expecto Patronum!”
A colossal creature squeezed out from the tip of Cohen’s wand. At first, it looked like a smoky, non-corporeal Patronus—but as it fully expanded…
“Damn your Dementor Patronus!”
The Count, suddenly deprived of his happiness, was so shocked by the sight that he cursed aloud.